How to keep the spark in your committed relationship

Falling in love is the easy part, but keeping the spark in your committed relationship is where all the hard work is. This is because many couples find it very challenging to rekindle the sparks in their long-lasting relationship.

Sometimes, it is difficult to even keep going. For instance, the lady might feel neglected by her man while the man might feel under-appreciated for his actions.

In such cases, the tension keeps rising. You’re no longer his secret obsession but his secret nightmare. That is not where you want to be in your relationship especially after you and your partner had committed to building an enduring relationship. Derails happen but things do not need to continue in a downward spiral. Every relationship experiences ups and downs but as long as the people involved want to work on their relationship, then there’s hope to not only salvage the relationship but also to bring back the butterfly feelings for each other.

In this post, I’m sharing four simple tips you can apply to help get you back on track on rekindling the spark in your committed relationships. Even if your relationship is where you want it to be, knowing these tips will help you to avoid the pitfalls that lead to an unsatisfactory and mundane relationship. So continue reading.

1. Discover the problem

A million and one things can contribute to blowing up tiny issues in a committed relationship.

Sometimes, these things can be insignificant but are powerful enough to steal the spark from that relationship.

So, first, you need to discover what these tiny problems are and do your best to fix them. If you do not know where to start from or how to start, these strategies will help you. Remember that it is one thing to know the root of the problem, and another thing to exert yourself to take care of it. So be prepared to tackle the problem once you discover it.

Recommended: Relationship tips: How to keep a healthy relationship with your man

2. Put your phone away and converse

We’re in a world where technology is the order of the day. Everyone is on their phones almost all their waking hours. Unless your man is away and the only you can reach him is by using communication technology,  then it’s about time you put down your phone away and have conversations with your partner.

Talk to your partner and listen to him. Show him that you are very much interested in what he is thinking and feeling. Encourage him to share his hope, fears and aspirations. This in turn, strengthens the bond between you and triggers those warm and loving feelings you used to experience at the beginning of your relationship.

3. Make eye contact

Romance doesn’t have to be sparked through grand gestures or public displays of affection. This isn’t to talk down on public display of affections as it works perfectly for some couples.

Intimacy happens in little moments. It could be making eye contact with your partner; this has scientific backing. Your brain feels more connected with another person through eye contact.

When you’re talking, focus on making eye contact so your partner knows you’re listening and better connects with you.

4. Make the change instead of hoping that your partner will

If you want your partner to say or do more romantic things, it can feel a lot like nagging if you are constantly asking them to do so them.

Sometimes, they might pick it up and then drop it. Other times, they might not even adhere because they’ll want to pay back for your nags. Instead of asking all the time, think of how much more you can give to your partner. Be the change!

When you’re with the right person, they’ll take notice of your extra effort and feel inspired to give some extra effort back. Be generous with affection, and if you love them unconditionally, prove it by your actions.

If it feels so hard, think back on the behaviours you both had at the beginning of your relationship. Think about how you thought of them, how you treated them, how much you wanted to make them happy. Then try and re-enact those early days. If you still feel stumped, these resources on his secret obsession website will help you.

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  13. Nice.
    The first ever relationship was that of Adam and Eve. God created Eve to assist Adam. Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
    So therefore couples are meant to help one another. Helping one another most especially at home will also help in keeping the fire burning in every relationship. Women should not be left alone to do the house chores.


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