Doctor Cupid: Top relationship skills for healthy relationships

Possessing good relationship skills means having the ability to maintain healthy and rewarding relationships with the people we come across daily. Good relationship skills are important to build a successful life and business as well as romantic relationships.

Loving someone unconditionally is quite a task. Loving someone healthily is truly hard work, good relationship skills, however, will ensure you get a good result for your hard work.

Relationship skills aren’t something that people are born with but skills that people have to develop over time. The relationship skills developed are personal because relations at such tender ages start with immediate family members – parents and siblings. As people grow older, their relationship skills broaden to accommodate platonic friendships and romantic relationships.

Developing good relationship skills will help keep your romantic relationship as healthy as possible and this is because good relationship skills will help you relate with your partner and understand them better.

If there’s anything you should be aware of,  it is that many of the relationships skills that are needed for romantic relationships are interpersonal but particularly relate to communication – the way to say things, the manner with which it was said, how it was said, etc.

These skills matter if you plan on having a healthy relationship with your partner. Women like to know that they are their man’s secret obsession and one way the man can show this is through communication and how the communication is done.

So, today, we bring you top ten relationship skills you need to develop to keep your romantic relationship healthy.

Giving feedback

Communication in relationships is crucial because it is the livewire that sustains any form of relationship. One of the most crucial aspects of communication is giving feedback to your partner. Not just any feedback, but an effective one.

Constructive feedback means giving pointers to behavioural patterns and perceived flaws in a manner that is non-combative or demeaning. For this feedback to be effective, it must be heard, absorbed and understood by the recipient.


If you’re in a healthy relationship that you want to stand the test of time, commitment is one ingredient that musn’t be found missing in your relationship. Commitment is the willingness to work on difficulties together, planning for the future together, clarifying and protecting the boundaries you’ve agreed on.

Simply put, commitment is staying put when you’d rather pack up and leave. This is where most of the hard work in romantic relationships lie. You should be willing to commit.

Conflict resolution

Contrary to what people think, conflict in relationship isn’t about arguing at the top of your voices or physical disagreements. Now, disagreements between you and your partner is quite inevitable. However, it is the way your differences are dealt with that matters.

Sometimes, it is good to use a soft start. This is a case of trying to argue better. Avoid letting things spin out of control all the time.  Avoid saying things you know you might regret later and never at any point trade insults in anger.

Always be prepared to be forgiving. In relationships, it is only when both partners are willing to let go of their desire to ‘win’ the argument that it can actually end.

Emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to manage your emotions properly to relieve stress.

Knowing how to handle your emotions when things happen in your relationship matters because it determines if you would have a healthy relationship or not.


Attentiveness is important in relationships because it is a way of showing that you care about your partner.

Paying attention to your partner’s needs is the basics a relationship needs to survive healthily.


Honesty is medicinal to healthy relationships. Being honest is truly a coveted trait because you have to know yourself well enough to know what’s honest.

In relationships, there’s really no substitute for honesty and while deception might offer temporary succour, it always comes back, in the end, to unravel in a nasty way. Lying is a very slippery slope, it has the tendency to go out of control, leaving you in a deeper mess than the one you lied to get out of.


Optimism is a notable relationship and life skill for that matter. It’s valuable to look for the good in people and situations and most importantly in yourself.

This skill will come in handy in your relationship. Becoming cynical and worrying only leaves you feeling miserable, but keeping a positive outlook leads to much better outcomes.


Being able to stay calm even when you’re troubled is another great relationship skill to cultivate. Often times, couples stumble into trouble when they allow themselves to be reactive in the moment based on intense emotions.

When you develop the ability to be calm and reflect on the situation, you can gain perspective and have better solutions to the problems.

This will allow you to have fewer of those heated moments that escalate into hurtful exchanges. When you take time to calm down within yourself, you can react in a way that’s much more productive, communicating clearly, maintaining your compassion and acting with integrity.


Empathy is having that strong connection with your partner, putting yourself in their shoes and feeling what they feel at all times. Truly, this could be one helluva work, however, this will strengthen your bond with your partner.

Everyone wants someone who can understand them without being judgmental.

A surefire way to be empathetic is by asking a lot of questions and withholding judgement in kindness.


Respecting your partner’s view and beliefs even when you don’t agree with it is all that tolerance embodies.

This might sound easy, but it is no walk in the park. However, this can be easy if you have come to fully understand your partner and have also accepted their flaws and reasoning.

Of course, no one is perfect but when you love someone to the point of accepting their flaws, tolerating them will be easy.


These relationship skills listed above is all you need to get going. However easy they sound, you still need to put in the effort. Everyone wants a healthy romantic relationship but not everyone is willing to put in the work required to make it happen.

You could try also these resources on his secret obsession website that will definitely help you in more ways than you can imagine.

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