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Doctor Cupid: Why a relationship is not the cure for your loneliness

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Love and relationships can be warm, loving, sweet, fulfilling, and so many other things, but not a cure-all for our problems.

Yes, being in a relationship makes sure that you can share feelings, worries, and concerns with others, but it will by no means cure you of loneliness.

The problem with idealizing love is that we have overstretched beliefs about what love will do for us and the extents that we can use it to solve our personal problem.

If, as a lonely person, you enter into a relationship with someone, the chances of you rubbing off that loneliness on them are higher than the chance of them actually curing you of it.

You need to look inwards for happiness and not to someone else. Consider this: what if they leave? What happens then?

[bctt tweet=”You need to look inwards for happiness and not to someone else. Consider this: what if they leave? What happens then?” username=”Sidomex”]

According to Joseph F. Newton, people are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. Try breaking down the walls around your heart that prevent you from making genuine connections and you’ll see that you’ll become less lonely.

Or you can use these tips below to overcome loneliness in your life.

Find out why you feel lonely

There’s something you need to understand and it is this: for every emotion we feel, there is an underlying cause. Whether we are feeling a positive emotion or a negative emotion, there is always something that triggers it.

To improve and get it to go away, you must identify the root cause of your problem and solve it. Only then will you be able to begin working on solving your loneliness.

[bctt tweet=”To improve and get it to go away, you must identify the root cause of your problem and solve it. Only then will you be able to begin working on solving your loneliness.” username=”Sidomex”]

Connect with people with shared interests

What is it that you enjoy doing? Is it reading, painting, making music… whatever it is, actively pick it up and go out to events where you can meet like-minded people with whom you can connect.

Connecting with people with interests that you also enjoy makes sure you always have conversation partners, people to be there when you want to go out, and people that generally support you. All of this can be comforting as humans weren’t made to be islands by their own selves.

Get a pet

Get an emotional support pet. It could be a dog, a cat, or a rabbit. Whichever animal you do choose will be there for you for as long as you want as long as you don’t accidentally kill it with neglect.

[bctt tweet=”Whichever animal you do choose will be there for you for as long as you want as long as you don’t accidentally kill it with neglect.” username=”Sidomex”]

Having a pet can also help you meet fellow animal lovers which reiterates the point above and is surely a bonus for you.

Get comfortable with your loneliness

Elizabeth Gilbert said in Eat Pray Love: “When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person’s body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.”

If all else fails, you can always get comfortable with your own loneliness, and find comfort in being by yourself, safe in the knowledge that no one loves you more than you love your own self.

The next time you find yourself yearning to use a relationship to fill the vacant spot in your life, stop and think if it is really worth it to try to fit a round peg into a square hole, because really, it will never work.

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