Truth be told, we all have our past experiences, some we never wished happen but they happened. Mind you, that is very much ‘normal’ though we often times wish to never revisit the experience. Perhaps because they conjure up some unpleasant memory, hurt, embarrassment, taking us to a dark place that we would rather do without. We just want to let it all fade away while we concentrate on the present and what it has to offer us.
While it is also very ‘normal’ to feel that way, it is very vital to give your current relationship the honesty and openness it truly deserves. But do this when you feel ready to deal with the outcome. Don’t feel pressured or the whole point might be defeated.
You can bring the past into the present by talking about your past experiences as well as asking those questions that have long bothered you. Don’t ask questions like ‘how many people did you date, how many times did you and your ex had sex while dating, was she good or was he or she good in bed?’. Those question can be harmful, so don’t ever think of it. Please! Rather, talk about what made your past relationships enjoyable and what made it less enjoyable, what made it end.
By so doing, you can receive possible insights on how to make your current relationship work, and not end like the former one. It can also strengthen your bond with your partner since openness is key in every genuine relationship.