See what keeping eye contact does to your confidence

Keeping, holding and maintaining eye contact is often such an uncomfortable encounter for some people that they conclude it’s ok to look away from the person they are talking to because then, they can think better than when looking at the person.

Most times, people have difficulties in keeping eye contact or holding eye contact with someone they are having a conversation with especially if the person is someone they don’t know well, someone in a place of authority, someone they just met like a stranger, someone they feel is attractive, or even a group of persons they are to speak to, etc. This is such a big deal for so many people that you find them either looking away, looking at the floor like they kept something there, or constantly looking around the whole place just because they can’t face whoever it is they are talking with.

This is the problem: If you lack self esteem and confidence, you tend to shy away or look away from people when having a conversation with them. You can’t look them in the face and talk because you feel you are not worthy, you feel they are better than you, they will see you for who you are, you might flop in the conversation and you don’t want them to notice, you feel intimated by their appearance, disposition, personality, etc. You simply lack self esteem and confidence in who are. If you know your worth and who you are, you will know that you are able to speak to anyone at any required time.

Learn to keep eye contact because it projects confidence, self esteem and assertiveness. You don’t want to be labelled shy, withdrawn, weak, nervous, insecure, unconfident or embarrassed, so make an effort to look people in the face at any point of contact. This is the trick: If the eye is too uncomfortable for you to look directly at, you can a suitable place in their face to look at and stay there. You can choose the lip, the cheek, the nose, or better still focus on the space between the eyes at the top of their nose and they won’t know the difference. Maintaining eye contact doe not necessarily mean eye to eye but if that works for you, it’s still beautiful. On the other hand, if it does not work for you, better stick to what works best for you.

However, it is a bit harder maintaining eye contact when speaking to a group of people. To make it easier for you, once you come into the room, scan the room and if possible note people’s faces. If you happen to know any person there, mark the person’s face. Also, mark the faces that appear warm, welcoming and encouraging, and stick to those faces. Looking at them will help boost your confidence and prevent you from looking uncomfortable or nervous.

Make an effort to be in charge and take control of the moment by keeping eye contact. Improving your eye contact will help improve your confidence.