Read Tom Hanks’ 6 rules for a happy and successful marriage

It is a truth universally acknowledged that celebrities’ marriage crashes are pretty much common.

So, when a Hollywood A-lister, whose marriage has lasted several decades and accounting, speaks up about the rules of a happy marriage, we perk up to listen.

And so we definitely think that Tom Hanks is amply qualified to set down the ground rules for a long and successful marriage. After all, he and actress Rita Wilson have been married for 31 years. The two met in 1985 while Tom Hanks was still married to his first wife, Samantha Lewes, whom he divorced in 1987. Tom and Rita tied the knot in 1988 and the rest as the saying goes, is history.

So here are the six rules of marriage according to the veteran Hollywood star, courtesy of the Chive.

1. Don’t Get Married Before 30

Tom Hanks married his first wife at the age of 22, something that Hanks regretted doing. While he had two children with his first wife, meeting Rita Wilson on the set of the film Volunteers in 1985 changed both of their lives.

Ultimately, Hanks divorced his first wife to be with Rita and married her in 1988. And in retrospect, he wished he hadn’t been impulsive, and waited longer to be at a point where he was conscious of the decision. Or, to put it as bluntly as Mr Hanks did, “No one should get married before they’re 30.”

2. Meet Your Partner Halfway

To be fair, this is generally good advice, but Tom Hanks really went above and beyond for Rita Wilson, specifically where religion was concerned:

“I sacrificed something for my wife. Rita has Greek roots and they have the Orthodox faith. And I was a Catholic, so before getting married I converted my faith out of deep respect to her family.”

3. Support Your Partner

Hanks isn’t shy about saying how his wife has supported him over the years. When he won his first Academy Award for Best Actor in 1992 for Philadelphia, his speech included the words, “I am here only because the woman I live my life with shows me what love is every day!”

And Hanks isn’t a slouch about supporting Rita Wilson. In 2015, Wilson got diagnosed with breast cancer, and she was scared about how the diagnosis could affect their marriage. Evidently, it didn’t, and all Hanks could say about his wife was, “All I can do is bow down before the courage of my wife.”

The coolest part of that story: Wilson is cancer free, and didn’t even need chemotherapy.

4. It’s The Little Things

Even after living through the madness of Hollywood together, travelling and working, they still make time for little things. From an E! article:

“I view my wife as my lover, and we have a bond that goes beyond words like wife or girlfriend or mother. I can’t imagine my life without her. I often leave notes for her near the phone or somewhere in the kitchen. I wish her a good day and stuff like that. I type notes for her using the antique typewriters that I collect — I have more than a hundred.

“And also, I have a habit of sending a photo report of my day to Rita. I take pictures of everything around me when she is not with me: what I eat for lunch, who I meet, what I shoot. I think she likes it.”

5. Love Them For Who They Are

Solid advice, but for Hanks, it’s also about what you’ve been through together, and how that ties directly into loving who a person is. From Hanks:

“This woman loved me when I was thin and loved me when I was fat. She loved me bald and loved me with hair. This woman loves me, I know that. This is why I am a lucky man.”

Speaking of that last part…

6. Get Lucky

Admittedly, this final rule isn’t much of a rule. But marriage is ultimately about the right person, and Tom Hanks knows how lucky he is to have found that person:

“My secret to a happy marriage is just being married to the right woman. I got lucky with the wonderful Rita Wilson. I’m the luckiest man alive.”

A version of this story first appeared on the Chive.