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Doctor Cupid: Five reasons to get premarital counselling before marriage

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Premarital counselling is a practice that has been ongoing for a long time, except that it mostly took place within religious communities.

With the rise in the failure of marriages, though, couples have started to seek out ways to ensure that their marriages last the test of time. Unflinchingly, premarital counselling can help give marriages a fighting chance before it even begins.

Premarital counselling definition

A lot of people go into marriage blind and clueless, relying on old, possibly toxic habits to get them through the issues that will come up in their marriage.

But these methods do not work, because marriage involves two mature adults who have to listen to and understand each other. This is where premarital counselling comes in.

Premarital counselling is a type of therapy that prepares couples for married life. It helps to ensure that couples are properly equipped with the means to properly navigate issues that may come up in the marriage.

Reasons to get premarital counselling before marriage

Counselling cannot help a couple who don’t love each other and find it hard to get along in the first place, but with some real effort from the couple, it can put them on the path to healing their relationship, leaving them free to continue or go their separate ways.

Yes, premarital counselling can take time out of wedding planning, and cost more money than you would like, but if you consider it to be an investment, keeping in mind the reasons below, you’ll smilingly commit your time and money to it, knowing that you’ll reap great rewards.

Let us consider the top five reasons why every couple needs to get premarital counselling before marriage.

1. It builds communication skills

Regular counselling sessions involve the couple intending to get married and a counsellor who helps them get through the discussion.

During the session, couples discuss a range of issues with the counsellor there to help them get through their emotions.

As they get used to this, they both become more open, eventually able to communicate better and openly with each other without feeling defensive about their opinions.

2. It allows couples to plan for conflicts in the future

During premarital counselling, couples learn how to address conflicts that may arise after they’ve crossed the final hurdle and get married.

Many people are defensive during conflicts, doing a lot of listening in order to fire back hurtful replies, but never understanding. This can cause a breakdown of any relationship.

During counselling, couples learn how to resolve conflicts while taking the other person’s feelings into consideration. They learn mature, healthy ways of solving their fights, leading to more progressive, healthy marriages.

3. It allows couples to resolve pending issues

It is not uncommon for people to hold in past grievances for the sake of the partner or in order not to start fights.

During the course of premarital counselling, many or all of these past aggrievances will come to the surface and will be resolved, allowing the couple to move forward without resentments towards each other.

4. It provides an avenue for couples to discover new things about themselves

No matter how long you’ve spent with your partner or how much you know them, you can never know the entirety of a person’s self or their values.

During counselling, you’ll get to burrow deeper into your partner’s mind, uncovering their deep-rooted values – some of which you may not know about – and other things.

While listening to them talk, you can also discover some behaviours that may be deal-breakers for you in a relationship, saving you a lifetime of pain had you gone forward with the wedding.

5. Couples can discuss gender roles, finances, and day to day running of the household

Discussions during premarital counselling cover a wide range of subjects, including helping couples figure out the dynamics of their marriage.

Both parties in the relationship are encouraged to be open about their expectations in the marriage. They will figure out the gender roles in the relationship, how they want to handle financial aspects of their relationship, parenting, and so many other things.

And that’s the list! Remember that all couples need premarital counselling and it is especially important to be honest during sessions so that your partner does not form the wrong opinion about you.

So, consider premarital counselling and give your marriage the headstart it needs in order to succeed.

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