Is Cheating Part of Life?

Jesse James, the ex-husband of Hollywood A-list actress Sandra Bullock, is reported to have reminisced on his former life to arrive at a verdict of no regret. The couple had been married for five years when the scandal broke, with multiple women claiming to have slept with Jesse.

Speaking of the incident, Jesse told Daily mail ‘Yeah, I did cheat on my wife, yeah, I stood up and took accountability for it and apologised. And that’s (the) end of story. Everything else was just… [shakes his head]’.

He further added that

 ‘In general, both women and men cheat. It’s part of life’.

Hmm, that’s something to mull over! Was James Jesse right? Is infidelity a part of life? We have many times read of famous infidelity stories: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chris Rock, Pitt Brad, Ben Affleck, Kristen Stewart, Tiger Woods, US President Donald Trump (who cheated on his first wife Ivana Trump), to mention just a few celebrity cheating scandals. Of course, that is not to say that cheating is a prerogative of celebrities, it’s just that well, they are celebrities and we get to hear about them!

My question, of course, maybe considered rhetorical by some people and it is not an easy one to answer either. To begin with, one needs to define what constitutes cheating in the first place! The answer, needless to say, is not straight forward and I suspect would be couple specific as well. Does cheating includes flirting and making out or does it only count when sex is thrown into the equation? Kristen Stewart was caught on camera making out with director Rupert Sanders during the making of the Snow White and the Huntsman, an event that led to the break up with her then-boyfriend Robert Pattinson. An ‘inappropriate relationship’ nearly cost Bill Clinton his presidency though his wife Hilary stood by him. And many relationships and families have been wrecked following revelations of infidelity. Furthermore, the answer becomes more complicated when viewed from a cultural standpoint.  Our society, for instance, accepts polygamy. In such a scenario, where does courting a second wife ends and cheating on wife number one begins?

Some may argue that monogamy as we know it is coming to a gradual death. They may cite the proliferation of married dating sites developed exclusively for those in relationships or the increasing number of couples who choose to be in open relationships or of couples that engage in swinging activities as evidence that the concept of one man one woman is no longer suited to modern life. Could this be what Jesse James meant? Yet, the clandestine nature of cheating effectively negates such a notion. I mean if it were normal and acceptable, why hide it?

Notwithstanding, perhaps Jesse may be somewhat right to the extent that some people may not mind cheating on their partners, but first, there has to be justification in their thoughts to cheat. Moreover,  technology wittingly or unwittingly is an enabler, and anyone with a cheating inclination may act on it provided that they have the means and time. And let’s be realistic here,  there will always be people who can and will! But does that make cheating a part of life? Wouldn’t that be considered as begging the question? In the end, I believe, individuals would choose the answer that is right for them.

Coincidentally, infidelity is also a theme explored in the critically acclaimed book  If Only by J. Michael, which I invite you to check out on amazon.com where it is also available for purchase.