Doctor Cupid: 18 questions to ask when evaluating your relationship

A strong determinant for our happiness is the relationship we have with other people – our friends, family, and our significant others.

While being in love can be amazing, it also tends to make people see everything their partner does through rose-tinted glasses until you’ve both lost yourselves to the relationship.

In reality, deciphering whether your relationship is built to last is a terribly heartbreaking, painstaking, and difficult process. Most times, people don’t even know how to properly evaluate their relationship.

If Maryam Sanda and her late husband, Bilyaminu Bello had sat down together to properly analyze their relationship once in a while, then maybe he would not be dead and they would have gone their separate ways before the unfortunate end of their relationship.

One thing to consider while going through this list is to ask yourself why you feel the need to evaluate your relationship. That you’re doing so does not mean that your relationship has to end, but it may point to signs that you’re not getting all you need from the relationship.

If this is so, then reevaluate your bond and make necessary changes so that you and your partner continue to feel fulfilled in your relationship.

Check out 18 questions to ask yourself when evaluating your relationship to help you find out if you’re fine, your relationship needs a revamp or if you need to end things.

1. How are you treating yourselves and each other?
2. Is the relationship physically and emotionally balanced?
3. Do you have common values?
4. Are you becoming a better person while being in a relationship with your partner?
5. When disagreements arise, do you and your partner communicate respectfully and without contempt or negativity?
6. Are you and your partner willing to sacrifice your own needs, desires and goals for each other (without being a doormat)?
7. Do you trust your partner?
8. Can you be yourself around your partner?
9. Do you and your partner have good opinions of each other?
10. Are you and your partner both comfortable with sharing feelings, relying on each other, being close, and able to avoid worrying about the other person leaving?
11. Is your relationship free of red flags like cheating, jealousy and controlling behaviour?
12. Would you and your partner trust each other with the passwords to social media and bank accounts?
13. Are you and your partner sexually compatible?
14. Do they respond positively to your good news? And do you?
15. Do they encourage you to try new things?
16. Do you respect each other’s beliefs?
17. Are there more joyful moments than sad ones being together?
18. If you could choose your partner again, would you choose the same person?

If your answer to most of these questions is “Yes”, then congratulations, your relationship is healthy.

If not, you need to seriously evaluate your relationship and consider taking steps to improve the bond between yourself and your partner.

Some couples find that a simple discussion with their partner does the trick while others need therapy to get through. For others, there’s nothing to fix.

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