No relationship is void of issues, but what matters most is how the partners involved handle them.
Partners in a relationship oftentimes tends to annoy one and another. The truth remains that no human is perfect, at least none that I know. There will be issues, challenges, troubles and quarrels will arise. He or she will definitely do something that bugs and pisses you off. One day she will go to your wardrobe and leave it scattered, he will drop by your office without first giving you a call, she might bounce your call just to attend to her boss, etc. Something minimal that can upset you will surely handle that is a guarantee. However, the question will be: What do you do when your partner bugs you or upsets you in anyway? Do you bottle it up even when it hurts you? Do you share how you feel about what has happened? Or do you just forgive and allow it pass?
You can choose to bottle it up, swallow it and keep it somewhere in your heart without voicing out how you feel. This may be because you don’t want it to cause any quarrels or you don’t want to be misunderstood. You don’t want your significant other to see you in a different light or wrongly process what you have to say or what you had said already.
But, do you know that storing things in your heart can be dangerous both for your health and your relationship? You can develop high blood pressure just because you are always thinking, obviously about things that are not working. Why not reach out and voice out how you feel, it will help you a great deal. If not, one day you will notice a sudden outburst of your emotions, and trust me it will not look nor sound pleasing because apparently a lot has been stored up inside.
On the other hand, you can choose to voice out your opinion by sharing how you feel concerning a particular happening or the other. If you don’t like it, say it. If you desire something to be done in a particular way, then let your partner know. This will help you two function well as partners with a clearer knowledge of what the other person likes or dislikes. Don’t ever think that you partner should know what’s going on in your head. No! He is not a wizard neither is she a witch. You two are imperfect human beings and are bond to make mistakes, get the other angry, quarrel, have misunderstandings, etc.
Like I mentioned earlier, what matters the most is how you solve the problem. However, you must understand that what you say matters, but how you say it matters most. You may want to communicate your feelings but end up causing more harm just because of how you said it. Words are powerful. Also learn not to speak when you are angry. Pause! Relax! Then take time to choose your words carefully. More so, remember that it is not about the person but about the issue. So separate the issue from the individual.
You can also decide to just forgive your partner and allow whatever it is to pass away or die. Now this is good in that you are giving room for excesses. You understand compromise, are willing to sacrifice for your significant other, you believe and understand you can’t change him or her so you just have to deal with anything that happens and just move on. You totally forgive him or her. It may seem okay to do, but will you be able to bear for a long time? You need to also consider that as partners in a relationship, you have needs which need to be met. Relationships are value proposition. It shouldn’t be you doing all the compromising, you may not be able to sustain it.
Relationships differ. This means that what works for one person may not work for the other. Stick to what works for you. But, I advise that communication does a lot in relationships. Learn communication skills, know what to say, how to say it, where to say it, and when to say. So as partners, always share what bugs you.
