One’s home is expected to be one’s refuge but, alas, for a lot of people mostly women, home is nothing short of hell due to violent behaviours and emotional abuse towards them from their domestic partners. Statistics suggest that 1 in 3 women in Nigeria are victims daily though there is some regional variation across the country. Unfortunately, many women seem to think that it is all right for a man to beat a domestic partner under certain circumstances, a situation that is rather worrisome. Furthermore, many women who are victims of domestic violence are ashamed to speak out for one reason or the other either out of fear, shame or some other personal or cultural reasons.
For these and similar reasons, the recent photograph shared by Nollywood star, Mercy Aigbe, who herself was also a victim of domestic violence was rather uplifting. The photograph showed the actress with a placard that reads “No Shame In My Pain”. A succinct message of encouragement for victims of domestic violence to speak out and seek for support. A powerful message to remind victims that the blame is not on them. A message of defiance that squarely lays the blame and shame on the doorsteps of perpetrators. A timely message that calls the society for attitudinal change and to be more compassionate towards victims of domestic violence.
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Victim of domestic violence, Mercy Aigbe, posts a picture of self in hospital bed
Ever since early May 2017 when she spoke out about her ordeal at the hand of her estranged husband, Lanre Gentry, Mercy Aigbe has been a strong advocate against this social ill. She regularly posts advocacy messages about the subject on her Instagram account. Like this one,
“NO to DOMESTIC VIOLENCE…
Only a Coward hits a woman!
REAL MEN don’t HIT!
Repost if you concur ?”
And this one,
“Why will a man who obviously beat his wife, try so much to deny what he did? My take is because he knows what he did is wrong and apparently he is ashamed and cannot own up to it… Let us be very careful of what we do especially when we are Angry as we might not know the consequences of that action… Violence, like I keep saying, does not and will not solve anything, let us learn to control our anger at all times… Arguments are bound to happen between couples but under no circumstances should we let it result to violence! Nobody has a right to hit, his or her partner regardless…”
Battery and Assault is a CRIME!
#saynodomesticviolence
#saynotoassault”
Then this one,
“I slept with dis menace on my mind, some still make excuses for it, sadly enough some women do. We can’t blame them they had seen their fathers abusing their mothers so they feel its aiit. On NO ACCOUNT shd a man hit the Wife, of course, we still have Verbal and Emotional Abuse. Women, REAL men pls let us all rise up to this challenge.
God bless you for REPOSTING!”
The actress even shared a screenshot of a conversation with her Gentry that showed the man admitting to having been a wife batterer.
Her efforts have also led to her being made Ambassador to Felix King Foundation Widows Maltreatment Abolishment.
Thankfully her efforts are gaining traction as more celebrities including Tonto Dike and cultural figures (Queen Wuraola of Ile-Ife, Emir of Kano) have teamed up in the #1in3Africa Campaign to raise awareness and call to action to end domestic violence and sexual abuse against women across the continent.
Mercy Aigbe is truly courageous in speaking out about her experiences and pains. A lot of women in her social position may not have come out to tell the world what was going in their homes, either out of shame for what people might say. Incidentally, it is Aigbe’s star-status that makes her speaking out against the social evil all the more valuable. Her Nollywood celebrity status gives her a lot of influence and followership on social media (over 2.3 million on Instagram alone) so her voice can be heard. Hopefully, victims will be encouraged to speak out, and that the society would provide support for victims, enact appropriate legislations to protect victims and punish perpetrators, Further it most important that everyone recognises that abusing a domestic partner is not acceptable and refrain from doing such.
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